


Story Time

by Chiru



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Dialogue-Only, M/M, bed time story, crack kinda, funny is not my strength, sickfic kinda
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-27
Updated: 2014-11-27
Packaged: 2018-02-27 05:40:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 696
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2681129
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chiru/pseuds/Chiru
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Ok, so there’s this guy that-”</p><p>“No, Tsukki, you can’t just start like that! You need to give a setting and take it more seriou-”</p><p>“Ok ok alright. Fine. Geez. Once upon a time, in a land called Volley Earth-”</p><p>“That’s more like it.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	Story Time

**Author's Note:**

> Kurotsuki porn, check;  
> angst, check;  
> crack, check.
> 
> I suppose fluff is next.

“Ok, so there’s this guy that-”

“No, Tsukki, you can’t just start like that! You need to give a setting and take it more seriou-”

“Ok ok alright. Fine. Geez. Once upon a time, in a land called Volley Earth-”

“That’s more like it.”

“Tch. There was a young man that stumbled upon a magical round artifact. He found it in his uncle’s cellar, when he’d been chucking all his beer, coz the guy was a moron.”

“Alcoholism is not a joke Tsukki-”

“AND WHEN HE FOUND THIS BALL, he really wanted to play with it. But his uncle was all like ‘no you must not do that coz that ball is mine’, and the youngling was all like ‘I do what I want’, but then this wizard showed up—”

“I love how you’re doing the voices.”

“…”

“…”

“Ok, so the wizard showed up, and he said that the ball was cursed, and had to be destroyed. So the dude grabbed some friends and-”

“Noooooo, why did you stop the voices…”

“Stop interrupting me and I’ll think about doing them again!!!”

“You’re no good at this, Tsukki.”

“Do you want the damn story or not?!”

“Ok, ok, sorry.”

“Ahum. So the young man gathered his friends and journeyed with the wizard to the land of the Catlords, where all these wise people would try to figure out what to do with the One Ball.”

“Wait, is this the lord of the rin-”

“What did I say about interrupting?!”

“…”

“Tch. Ok, so at the catlord’s the Cat Master tells everybody about the One Ball to Screw them All—

“Pffft-”

“And they decide to make like a group to help protect the young man, since he’s a weak and stupid little drunk. The wizard joins him, and so does a representative of each of the races of the land: one warrior of the catlords, one of the ravenmasters, one of the owljumpers—”

“Wait, is that Bokuto? Is this story about us?!”

“And one of the SparkleShooters and I will plummet you if you don’t stop talking I swear to god I don’t even care that you’re sick ok, I will knock the cold right out of you.”

“Sorry.”

“But yes, it’s Bokuto-san.”

“Ha, I knew it! And the catlord’s amazing warrior is me, and then a stunning beauty from the ravenmasters, it’s you, and—”

“Do YOU wanna tell the story?”

“Eeps.”

“They dub the gathering of warriors the faggotship of the ball.”

“pffffft—”

“And start their journey to Mount Victory all together. They fight against enemies and such, until 5 days after their departure, they all stop and turn towards each other, as if planned, but it wasn’t.”

“I smell a plot-twiiiissttt~”

“’Give me the ball!’, said the sparkleShooter’s warrior, ‘I am the only one worthy of it!’”

“Sweet, the voices are back.”

“’No,’ yelled the Ravenmaster, ‘I want it much more, so give it to me instead!’”

“Wait wait, it’s your grumpy setter, not you? Auwwww, but Tsukki—”

“’Wha- no way, if somebody is stealing the ball it’s mine!’, complains the owljumper, a pout on his face. And as all of them bicker, the catlord stabs the drunk dude in the back and runs off with the ball. He runs off into the mountain, and there, he freezes to death.”

“…”

“The end.”

“Was that in any way related to how I said I didn’t need a jacket two days ago?”

“I don’t know what you’re sniffling about.”

“Seriously though, Tsukki, your story telling sucks balls. Ha, pun intended. In all honesty though, there was no mystery or plot besides the little you ripped off and-”

“I will rip off your legs if you don’t just go to sleep already!!”

“Nah, Tsukki, after that shitty story you gotta tell me a decent one. Let’s put in some effort this time, shall we?”

“FINE! Once there was a guy that was so terribly stupid and-”

“Tsukki, be nic-”

“AND ANNOYING, he pestered his boyfriend, who’d come over because he was ACTUALLY FUCKING CONCERNED about that shithead, away despite his burning fucking fever, causing him to stampede out of his room without a further word. THE END.”

“No, Tsukki, come back!!”

**Author's Note:**

> Comments and kudos and bookmarks are appreciated and give YOU the wildly unique chance to make MY day! How awesome is that?!?  
> ...  
> /hides


End file.
